Our Journey to Parenthood…Shay’s Journey

First, I want to thank you all for your sweet words and emails about this series.

The support of the blogging community is unlike any other.  

It’s a community I’m proud to be a part of.

Today is the first guest post for “Our Journey to Parenthood” series.  

I can’t think of a better guest to kick this off than Shay, the Mix and Match Mama.  

I started following Shay when her brother was on The Bachelor.  

She has the most precious family and her zest for life is contagious.  

If you’re not following both of her blogs, you’re missing out! 

Thank you Shay for sharing your story and being a part of this series.  

Hi! I’m Shay…otherwise known as the Mix and Match Mama.

I write a lifestyle and foodie blog on a daily basis chronically my adventures as a mom, a foodie, a traveler and the big sister of a reality TV personality.  I love Jesus, coffee, baseball, the Real Housewives and all things holiday related (oh yes, and I’m obsessed with Michael Buble too).  I’m just your normal mama…except my road to mommyhood wasn’t easy.  It was long and hard and it makes me so appreciate where I am today.  Here’s my story…

Andrew and I had been married for several years, we had a puppy, a new house, two good cars, a savings account, and our own business going…we were ready for that next chapter in our lives to begin…parenthood.  It was time to become parents…or so we thought.

After 5 months of not getting pregnant, I went to see my doctor for some answers.  I remember leaving that appointment and calling my mom in the car.  I was 25 years old and the doctor had just told me that he wasn’t sure if I would ever be able to get pregnant.  I cried and cried and cried.

My doctor didn’t mess around with mild fertility drugs…he pulled out the big guns right away.  From that point on, I began taking 2 types of fertility drugs a day plus Andrew would give me 4 shots in my stomach daily.  Between the pills and the injectable medicines, they were trying to get my body capable of being pregnant.  A few months passed and we decided it was time to try an Intrauterine Insemination (IUI).  I had the IUI in mid-May and on Memorial Day 2007, I found out I was pregnant.  Being the big-mouthed, never holds anything in kind of gal I am, I immediately told my entire family and all of my friends.  We went to the doctor, everything looked great and my pregnancy was in full swing.  I had horrible 24/7 morning sickness almost immediately and had every symptom in the book of a healthy pregnant gal.  

On June 25, I went in for my routine checkup (I was almost 9 weeks pregnant) and they couldn’t find the baby’s heartbeat.  I was devastated.  The baby was gone.  My D&C was scheduled for the next morning and that was it…I wasn’t pregnant any more.

Between that day and December 8, I would go on to have 5 more IUIs…all failures.  I took so many hormones, so many pills, had so many needles jabbed into my stomach…I was a mess.  Finally, on December 16, when we received confirmation that my 6th IUI had failed, we decided to proceed with Invitrofertilization (IVF).  We filled out the paperwork, paid the money, had the affidavits signed and picked mid-January to start.  It was Christmas, and all I wanted to do was enjoy the holiday season minus the pills and needles to the belly.

This is us in Chicago during that month…we went Christmas shopping and tried to forget our sadness.

On January 16, 2008, I was ready to start the IVF procedure.  My doctor called and said for me to take a routine pregnancy test before I began my meds (something I did frequently…they wouldn’t write a prescription until they knew for sure I wasn’t pregnant).  During my lunch break, I grabbed a pregnancy test and decided to take it at work so that my doctor would call in my prescription.  I took it…and it was positive.

I remember staring at it for a long, long time.  Fortunately, Andrew and I worked together, so I went into his office and told him my pregnancy test was positive.  Being the typical cynical Shull that he is, he said it was probably wrong.  I called my fertility doctor and told them what happened…they asked me to come in for blood work right then and low and behold…I was actually pregnant.

After thousands of dollars, 6 IUIs, a miscarriage, a D&C and more drugs then I’ll ever be able to count, I became pregnant without any of it.  God likes to show his glory and might on his own terms in unexpected ways…he gave me my miracle baby.  And on September 15, 2008, I gave birth to Kensington Kate.

Kensington was worth the wait!

Then…God thought he would really make his point clear, and on June 5, 2009, I found out I was pregnant again…and I had a 6 month old.  

Smith William arrived on January 18, 2010 and was my best surprise!

After all of that money…all of that trying…all of the doctor appointments…all of the prayers…God gave me two freebies.  Kensington and Smith came on the Lord’s terms…on the Lord’s time…and it was exactly what I needed.  I just didn’t know it before.

I am a big believer in fertility doctors…please don’t get me wrong.  I was blessed with wonderful doctors that loved me and cared for me and did everything they could to try and help me get pregnant.  But the bottom line is…they could use all of the medicine in the world and create the absolute most perfect conditions for conception but unless God wants to bring a human being into this world, nothing they do can create a baby.

Even though I’m five years past infertility, I still have a huge heart for moms that can’t conceive.  I don’t care whether you’re trying to have your first or your fifth…whether you’ve been trying two months or 10 years, I have an aching heart for you.  I pray for each and every woman that emails me about their struggles.  From the bottom of my heart, I am so sorry for your pain.  I wish I could tell you that one day, you’ll conceive a child but I just can’t.  What I can tell you is that God is in control…the Lord loves you so much…and he has never left the plan for your life.  Trust in the Lord and he will bless you more than you could ever know.

My two favorite scriptures are Jeremiah 29: 11, “For I know the plans I have for you says the Lord.  Plans to prosper you and not harm you.  Plans to give you hope and a future.”.  And I also love the Message’s version of Ephesians 3:20. “God can do anything, you know-far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams.”

My husband and I just announced, that we are so thrilled to be expanding our family by one more…

We are in the process of adopting a little girl from another country.  God has always known that our family would include two biological kids and one little girl from somewhere else.  God knew exactly what we needed…and he knows what you need too.  Trust in Him.  He will always guide your path.

Lots of love!