just like my mom

Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about parenting.  Mostly wondering what it will be like with a child of my own.  Talk about lots of pressure (in a good way).  Every decision from here on out (and for the past months) has been with AG in mind.  I know it’s going to be hard but I know that D and I are so ready and will work together to be the absolute best parents we can be for out little girl.  

And whenever I think about the kind of parent I want to be, I think about my parents.  

When I was growing up I always said I wanted to marry someone like my dad.  Maybe I didn’t tell him that (especially through my teen years) but I’ve always known it.  And that is exactly what I did. I see so much of my dad in my husband, especially as time passes.  They are patient, loving, affectionate, caring, handy and most of all family men.  The best thing for me is seeing them together.  Their interaction, humor, and relationship means the world to me.  Great dad for AG, check!  

Now onto my mom.  I honestly don’t know where to start.  There are no words I could write for you to completely grasp the kind of woman, especially mother she is.  For those of you who know her, you can just see it.  She’s the kindest, most giving woman I’ve ever met. I’ve never done anything without her full support, whether she’s agreed with what I was doing or not.  I don’t go a day without talking to her, most of the time don’t go an entire morning or afternoon. She’s a constant in my everyday life, even at 28 years old.  The good, the bad, the ugly…she’s always there. Not only is she my mom, she’s my best friend.
The support I’ve received from her throughout this pregnancy has been my saving grace.  It’s hard mentally to think positive all the time when you’ve had two miscarriages.  Lots of times I didn’t want to worry hubs with my concerns (he would have left work every single time I called to console me), so I called her.  She knew just what to say to ease my fears.  She put things in perspective and was realistic.  No matter what happened, we’d all get through it together, is what she would tell me.  I didn’t hear everything would be fine, nor did I hear that I can’t think that way.  She was real about it.  Now that we’re near the end of this pregnant, I receive a different kind of support and encouragement. It’s not this is how it will be with a baby or what I’m going to experience as a mother or labor.  It’s whatever comes your way, I’ll be there to do anything I can to help.  
That is the kind of mom I want to be.  

The kind that allows my daughter to make her own choices, even if I know they aren’t the right ones.  Then picks her up when she falls. 

The kind that never doubts that her mother loves her more than anything in the world and would do anything for her.  

The kind that will make her laugh when she wants to cry and if I can’t, will cry right along with her.  

The kind that tells her what she may not want to hear because it’s the best thing for her.  

The kind that doesn’t judge when she goes through her teenage years and decides to wear baggy jeans, oversized shirts, and lots of eye makeup.  

The kind that will not tolerate talking back or disrespect but disciplines in a non yelling way.  

The kind that is honest and loving and caring. 

I could go on and on.  No matter what, I know I will give my all each and everyday and hope that 28 years down the road my daughter will think the same of me.