Our Journey to Parenthood – Steffany’s Journey

I’m Steffany, blogger over at Spit and
Sparkles, wife to Derrick, mommy to boy/girl twins, former journalist and
bargain shopper! I’m so thankful for the opportunity to share my story on Everyday
Love. I’ve been blessed with a beautiful family, but on many, many days it
seemed like something so far out of reach.

Eight years ago on June 22, 2005, I was
undergoing surgery to remove an ovarian tumor — a surgery that I wasn’t sure I
would walk away from and still be able to conceive children one day. 

I was 19 years old, and I had just
completed my first year of college when I was diagnosed with a mass on my right
ovary. I was scheduled for surgery immediately to remove the tumor, and
possibly both ovaries, or a complete hysterectomy if the tumor was cancer and
had spread. By God’s grace, the tumor was confined to the right ovary, and that
is all I lost. No radiation, no chemotherapy. He saved me.

It wasn’t until many years later, after
I married my sweet husband, Derrick, that I fully realized the gift I’d been
given, but it also took hardships I never expected to face.

After trying to conceive our first child
for what seemed like a lifetime, Derrick and I were devastated by our failure. Our
first pregnancy occurred one year into our trying to conceive journey, but it
sadly ended in a miscarriage. As devastating as this was, it also helped
strengthen my and Derrick’s relationship. We began to see each other in a new
light, and the respect we had for each other grew. If there were any doubts in
my mind that Derrick didn’t want this as badly as I did, the loss changed that.
He handled it with grace, and I admire him for his strength and kindness during
that time in our lives.

Many months later, I remember walking
into a store one feeling sorry for myself. I happened to pick up a book at the
checkout that consisted of names and their meanings. I looked up my name: Stephanie:
Mother of many, happy children. Obviously, since the name was spelled wrong,
that was not my prophecy! What a cruel joke, I thought. However, this, I know
now, was a sign from God to be patient and trust in His plan.

After another year of unsuccessful
attempts, we just humbled ourselves before God. We had the elders of our church
pray over us and bless us. We vowed not to give up no matter what the road
ahead had in store for us. A few weeks later, we got the exciting news that I
was pregnant, and then we learned that we were expecting twins.

Corbin and Lynley are beautiful gifts,
and I will never forget what Derrick and I have gone through to get to this
point in our lives. I cherish every moment that I get to spend with my little
family, knowing that this may never have happened.

Looking back, I wish that I would not
have let trying to conceive consume us so much. I feel like we missed out on
time to just be Steffany and Derrick. I encourage anyone experiencing
infertility to set a date night or even just a couple of hours on a certain day
every week to put aside the discussions of making a family, the counting,
temperature taking, etc. and just be in love. Celebrate each other, and make
each other laugh. And know, that you are not alone. I pray that God may bless
you just as he has blessed us. If you’re looking for a good faith-based read on
this subject, Hannah’s Hope is a
wonderful book that really helped me during this struggle.

Many thanks to Leah for the opportunity
to share my story.  If you would
like to connect, please email me at spitsparklesblog@gmail.com and visit our
blog..

Steffany