knew I wanted to be a mommy someday, long before I even met my husband-to-be.
Before Dave and I got married we talked about our future kids… how many we
wanted, where were would raise them, schools, and sports/activities they might
play. Dave was ready to start having babies before we even said I do! He agreed
to wait a bit once we were married to focus on being newlyweds.
I could. But when you hear the way your husband always talks about babies
and your future kids, it definitely tugs at the ol’ heart strings!
conceive right at the beginning of the New Year. A fresh new year with a fresh
new start…and hopefully a baby! We thought we’d be pregnant in no time. What we
hadn’t expected was the journey ahead of us or the struggle we had waiting.
just happen overnight for us like it felt like it had for friends or other
couples we knew. I wasn’t worried at first. I knew it could take some time.
Plus I was really nervous of the unknown, so I was okay with it taking a few
happening on its own, I started tracking my temperature, charting my cycle, tracking
when I ovulated, and using ovulation sticks. Two months later I got my first
ever positive pregnancy test! We were ecstatic. It took us twelve months
exactly to finally become pregnant, sadly it was short lived and I had my first
miscarriage. It was heartbreaking.
break. We both were optimistic that we got pregnant once we will get pregnant
again. Month after month went by.
I continued to take my temperature each morning, chart and use ovulation
sticks. Friends just kept telling us to relax, be patient and it will happen.
But they weren’t the ones getting negative pregnancy test one after another
each and every month. It was difficult and I felt alone. I didn’t know one
person or couple who had trouble getting pregnant.
approaching we talked to my doctor’s office and began doing the testing.
Everything came back normal and we were diagnosed with Unexplained Infertility.
I started Clomid, after 5 failed rounds we turned to a specialist. Our new RE
sent me through a whole new battery of tests, all which came back normal. We started
with a 6th round of Clomid and an IUI, which worked and we were
pregnant! Although it was exciting, it just didn’t feel right. I had the
feeling it wouldn’t end well and I was right, I miscarried a few days later.
a holistic chiropractor and acupuncturist that I continued to see 2-3 days a
week while we continued seeing the RE. We went through another round of Clomid
with an IUI, I got a very faint positive pregnancy test which turned out to be
a chemical pregnancy and a third miscarriage. I had more tests for recurring
miscarriage but nothing came up as a red flag so Dave and I decided to take two
months off treatment with our impending vacation coming up before we continued
on with a third and final IUI.
my temperature, no ovulations tests. I only continued getting weekly
adjustments and acupuncture.
trip to Punta Cana. Dave drank A LOT of mamajuana….it’s rumored to be an aphrodisiac
that Dominicans say will give you lots of babies! We enjoyed
the benefits of an all-inclusive resort to its fullest! Two weeks after we
returned, the weekend before revisiting the RE, we got a surprise and very
shocking positive pregnancy test! This one stuck! On July 23, 2012 we welcomed
the most beautiful, perfectly healthy baby boy into the world, Madden James.
helped you get through the hard times?
talk to anyone about it. I didn’t really know who to talk to or where to turn.
Miscarriage and infertility wasn’t something many people are open about sharing
and I didn’t know anyone else who had gone through either. That’s when I
decided to open up and start writing about my experience on my blog. I had
originally started my blog thinking it would turn into a pregnancy and baby
blog, so when that wasn’t happening it turned into my outlet about our journey
though infertility and difficulty to get and stay pregnant. Once I started
sharing my experience I was contacted by other women, some I knew fairly well
and had no idea they had experienced some of the same things we were
experiencing and others I had never met before. Knowing there were others
didn’t make our journey easier, it made it less lonely.
you would give to someone on their own unexpected journey?
at some point after our first miscarriage I came across this quote that I’ve
held onto throughout our entire journey.
having comes with trials worth withstanding.” Kate Voegele
remind myself that even though I didn’t understand why it was taking so long to
get pregnant, why our journey was difficult, why we loss multiple babies, or
why there was no explanation for our infertility, that there was a reason God
chose us to follow this path. We may not be able to see what that reason is
today or tomorrow or the next day. Looking back, knowing how long it took us to get to where we
are today has taught me to never take Madden for granted. I truly believe that
our difficult journey to parenthood has made me a far better mother than I
could have ever imagined and to enjoy each and every day I have with my little